“ …uhh , life on a 3 by 5” This made me think if I only had a 3 by 5 to explain my life, what would it say or be a picture of, and for me- it would be a picture of my family and friends standing in front of the harbor light center's chapel. It would be this because it incorporates all the things I love the most and treasure the most; my mom and dad, my sisters, my dog, my best friends, helping people (hence the homeless shelter aka harbor light center) and the chapel representing God.
“ fear is a state of mind” The past few months I started getting panic attacks, and not the normal anxiety I deal with when afraid, but full on panic attacks, the kind where I can't breathe, I can't move, and I can't put Landon (my son) down, I feel my chest rising and falling and the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Anything can trigger them, a shadow, a smell, a noise, last week it was even the vacuum cleaner cord once. Now that I am not having a panic attack it sounds ridiculous, I mean come on, a vacuum cleaner cord? That is proof that fear is a state of mind.
“ 3 years…21 in dog years….” This quote was said as the main girl was pointing out that it had only been three years, to the guy who then came back with this- Three years is the amount of time I spent in an extremely abusive relationship. Three years is the amount of time I spent lying to everyone I cared about. Three years I spent lying to myself. Luckily though, I am not a dog and three years will only be a page in my novel called life.
“funerals are an important part of the grieving process, not only do you acknowledge that a life is over, but you celebrate that a life was lived.” I just like this, I want my funeral (in many many years I hope) to be not only a mourning, but also a celebration, I want my loved ones to know I am in a better place and I would not want them sad.
“ you cant move forward if your eyes are on the rear view mirror” What ifs are never helpful, and looking back you really never can move forward, well you can try but if you were driving while doing this you would most likely crash, possibly burn, and maybe even die. Of course you are not going to crash burn and die literally if it is just thinking about the past, but I think that depending on the past you are thinking about, little pieces of your soul can crash burn and die, and the potential for the future seems dim.
“my life is a day by day experiment, of really bad choices” Live one day at a time. slow down. enjoy life. make mistakes. it is mistakes that give you experience. and experience that teaches you and helps you grow. every choice is probably considered a really bad choice to someone, so why not just think of it as a choice?
As I lay in bed now I can hear my parent laughing at a movie, I can imagine my son breathing in and out, I can hear the blow of the fan cooling down my room, and I can feel the presence of God. All of these comforting things just go to show- Love Happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment